The Style Invitational Week 903 Bill us now
Saturday, January 15, 2011;
Dold-Boozman-Carney Act to regulate Tilt-a-Whirl
operators
A congressional shake-up is
swell news for the Invitational, since it means that we'll have plenty of
freshmen's names to work with for our (usually) biennial "joint
legislation" contest - beloved by many, behated by a few. This week:
Combine the names of two or more new members of Congress as co-sponsors of a
bill.
See a list of the more than
100 new members (with pronunciations) at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a set of fabulous
5-by-7 charcoal-and-pastel prints of the four "Golden Girls"
actresses in a lovely zombie motif, complete with white eyes and bloody mouths,
drawn by Los Angeles artist Chuck Hodi. Donated by Denise Sudell of Cheverly,
who asks to be identified as "a Loser groupie."
Note: Starting with next
week's Invite, we move back to Sundays after three-plus years on the Saturday
shift. Find us on the back page of the new Sunday Style tabloid section, inside
the Arts section, Jan. 23.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser
magnets. First offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener"
(Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your
entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, Jan. 24. Put "Week 903" in the subject line of your e-mail,
or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone
number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and
originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries
may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Feb. 13. No
purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, or their
immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be
disqualified. The revised title for next week's results was submitted by Roy
Ashley. The honorable-mentions subhead is by Pam Sweeney.
Report from Week 899,in which we gave you a filled-in crossword grid and
asked for creative clues. The Empress received thousands of entries for the 37
across-words and 37 downs; here are the best. Note that some of these clues
require you to think flexibly; for example, the clue for TOO featuring Stedman
has to be read as "To O." Bob Klahn, who constructed the crossword
just for us, reviewed the entries below and thought the funniest was for OHOH,
the cleverest for the MINIMALARIA combo.
THE WINNER OF THE INKER
21 Down, MINIMAL: With 2 Down
(ARIA), disease transmitted by tseensy flies. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
2 ABBA: Hebrew for father and
Swedish for pop (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney)
3 PAYSCALE:
So-Pay-Me-I've-No-Lat-te-Dough (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)
4 LEPEW: Where to put your
derriere on Sunday (Michael Baker, Elkridge)
Coming up Shortz: honorable mentions
HARDC: Last three syllables
from Michelle Rhee's mouth on her way out the door (Paul Burnham, Gainesville)
ABBA: Blood type for Chang
and Eng Bunker (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
TRIAL: Heene balloon
destination (Kevin Dopart)
TRIAL: For O.J., a
Cochran-bull story (Barry Koch)
OWOE: What Elmer Fudd
exclaimed when he saw the caviar (Bern Saxe, Springfield)
SLOB: Acronym for
"several lunches on blouse" (Beverley Sharp, Washington)
PALERMO: Udall compared with
Vaughn (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)
TEACAKE: Christine O'Donnell
takes it (Tom Murphy, Bowie)
TEACAKE: The "Girls of
the Glenn Beck Rally" calendar (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase)
SAIDSO: What the fifth Von
Trapp kid did (Danny Bravman, Chicago)
TOKORI: Ancestral home of
Lloyd, Beau and Jeff (John Shea, Philadelphia; Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)
EMPRESS: Mars Co.'s
candy-labeling machine (Kevin Dopart; Pie Snelson, Silver Spring; Jeff
Contompasis, Ashburn)
TOO: A kvetch's favorite word
(Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)
TOO: Opening words
of Stedman's love note (Chris Doyle, from a cruise ship off Cozumel, Mexico)
PAYSCALE: The wages of fin
(Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)
WHOWON: A question Washington
fans rarely have to ask (many entrants)
WHOWON: What happened at the
U.N. intramural softball tournament (Gary Krist, Bethesda; Todd Carton,
Wheaton)
ARSON: Our boy the pyromaniac
(Lindsay McClelland, Fairfax, a First Offender)
ARSON: Directions for British
toilet seat (Mark Barbour, Fairfax)
LEANTOS: Diet corn chips
(Edward Gordon, Austin)
PLUG: Hair-brained idea (Kyle
Hendrickson, Frederick)
PLUG: Gulp down the wrong way
(Jeff Contompasis; Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)
PERON: Juan or another
(Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)
HIDEHO: Cab Calloway's
favorite "working girl" (Nan Reiner, Alexandria)
ACID: What a casino worker
wears in New Jersey (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)
ACID: El's more accomplished
brother (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.; Peter Boice, Rockville)
HORN: Naughty nurse (just about
everyone sent this)
HTTP: Letters that launched a
thousand leaks (Jeff Loren, Manassas)
TOETOTOE: Pre-electronic form
of digital flirtation (Howard Walderman, Columbia)
TOETOTOE: You may have to go
this way if you can't see eye to eye (Steve Hoglund, Washington, who last got
ink in 1997)
ABSCOND: "Nice
____," said Hillary to her predecessor in the State Dept. gym (Nan Reiner)
ABSCOND: To steal because
you're in a crunch (Christopher Lamora)
BROKE: Since the banks ain't
this, we don't fix 'em (Kevin Dopart)
SURREAL: Artsy people's term
for "What the hell?" (Jeff Contompasis)
LOLA: Highest grade awarded
for a tweeted joke (Tom Murphy; Tom Panther, Springfield)
PLEASEDO: How Molly Malone's
lover felt when she cried, "Cockles and muscles!" (Nan Reiner)
SAUDI: "Naw, tain't
Volvo" (Craig Dykstra)
SAUDI: He's at the
top of the OPECking order (Chris Doyle)
OHOH: What Santa says when he
can't get back up the chimney (many entrants)
Next week: Dear us, or Letters entertain you